Visits From A Man Named Nobody 87

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Twenty-Six

June 8, 2038, 11:52 a.m. 

13 Years, 179 Days Ago 

Paul stood before a red door wondering why it was so hard for him to ring the bell. He’d spoken to Jordan a few times, but he’d grown more and more distant, especially since his mother had gotten sick. Paul finally took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. 

Paul expected the chime, but that chime set off a series of other noises Paul hadn’t even realize he’d forgotten about. A dog started barking. That woke the baby, who started crying. 

Right, Paul thought, the baby must have been born a few weeks ago. 

The door opened to reveal Lidia wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans. Paul started at her. This could have been my house if I wasn’t such an idiot. Of course, if that were true, Jordan would probably be alone. A part of Paul still felt like this was better. 

“Paul!” The momentary staring contest ended as Lidia wrapped her arms around him. “Jordan, Paul’s finally come to visit!” She nearly blew out an ear drum rather than pulling away to call her husband. 

Footsteps thundered down a flight of stairs revealing Jordan, who held his child in his arms. 

“Hey! Man I’m so glad you’re here!” Paul thought Lidia would pull way, but Jordan just fit himself beside Lidia and further encircled Paul. It was like being wrapped in a blanket of love. They were genuinely happy to see him.

Paul lingered there, enjoying the group hug even though he couldn’t actually return the gesture. 

They finally let him go. Jordan smiled at him. “I guess you’re here to meet your godson.” 

Paul stammered as Jordan gently set the baby in his arms. Even as he tried to say, “No thanks,” he wound up holding the child and looking at it. 

Everything went still. The baby was so small and helpless. It had stopped crying. It was strangely alien and beautiful. 

“Paul,” Lidia said. “We’d like you to meet your godson, Paul.” 

Paul’s head jerked up, fixing the two in a state of awe. “You …”

Jordan laughed after Paul failed to say anything else. “There really wasn’t even a need for a plan B, unless of course it was a girl.” He rubbed the back of his head with his hand. “I mean, we probably would have gone with Paula or Pauline, but we’re sort of glad it was a boy.”

“I don’t know that we’ve really talked in … how long?” Paul was more thinking out loud than talking at the moment. 

“It’s been a while,” Jordan said. “And you typically need time, but once you get that, you usually come back around. You did come to see him, right?”

Paul looked down at the boy. “Actually …  my mom.”

“Oh, God.” Lidia wrapped her arms around him again. “Please say she’s OK. She’s not …  She’s OK, right?”

“She’s fine,” Paul said. “That’s … I don’t know how to explain this.”

Jordan carefully took his son back. “Maybe we should go sit down.”

The couple led Paul into a living room centered around a polished long coffee table decorated with a white vase filled with sunflowers. A corner couch wrapped around the coffee table. A recliner sat on the opposite side of a large glass door covered by flower-pattered curtains.  

Paul sat on the recliner. Lidia vanished into the kitchen and came out with a Dr. Pepper and a glass of ice. She set the drink next to Paul and sat beside her husband, who had just put their baby in a small, portable pack and play just in front of Paul’s small coffee table. 

“So your mom is doing better?” Jordan asked. 

“That’s why I came here,” Paul said. “She’s not doing better.”

Jordan and Lidia’s faces fell as they gripped each other’s hands. They looked at him with such sympathy. 

“She’s healed.” Paul let the words ring in the air. They felt so good to hear and even better to say.

… to be continued …

Sonnets For My Savior 43

Ungrateful

A mother protects her son from foolish deeds.
The son wails and gnashes his teeth in frustration.
His mind wants danger more than what he needs.
He sees the mother’s love as an act of restriction.

How much more has this happened to God the Father?
How often have we cursed Him for what would become our blessings?
How many times have we called His commandments a bother?
How frequently have we scorned Him out of desire for harmful things?

But our Father is patient, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He has plans for our welfare, which give us hope.
If everything that happens comes from God above,
why not be still and silent, for with Him, we can all cope.

How can we receive good from God and not receive the bad?
Why do we grumble over what we want, forgetting all we have?

 

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The Change

In my mind, there is a mirror
Showing me the man I used to be.
The change in me becomes clearer,
for that wretched man sickens me.

He was angry and lustful.
He believed everything had to be done by his own hand.
He was bitter and mistrustful.
He only sought God to meet his every selfish demand.

How can such a different man wear the same face?
What can explain such a change?
It can only be God’s glorious grace.
Now the man I was seems strange.

Still, the mirror is a great comfort to me;
It shows me how I’ve changed and proves I’ve been set free.

 

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Peace of Mind

Almighty above, you created man and his mind.
You have the power to quiet a man’s thoughts.
Hear now our prayer, for if we seek so shall we find.
His emotions are racing, and his ideas are tied in knots.

Let your servant’s head be clear.
Help him and guard him from false ideals.
For to you I surrender my anxiety and fear.
For only You can help; only you can heal.

Our trust is in your mercy and grace.
For you are slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
Look kindly upon your servant’s face
and grant him peace from above.

Let your name be praised, and bring glory to yourself.
Bring peace to his heart and return this man to himself.

 

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Lament For A Guide

How long will your servant suffer?
How long will illness ravage his body?
Only You can free him, no other.
Hear our prayer and grant him the grace You embody.

How long will those who scorn you mock his testimony?
For he proclaimed his health to your name.
Heal him lest doubters scoff and call his praise of you phony.
Cleanse him lest doubters use this in attempt to bring you shame.

Our faith and trust are in You alone.
We praise You, for your mercy abounds.
We kneel before Your mighty throne.
When our strength fails, Your power compounds.

We sing Your praises even amid our pain.
We pray in hope, for in You our hope will always remain.

 

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The Why

Why do you obey?
Is it for His glory or your reward?
For what reasons do you act in a certain way?
What are your treasures, and where are they stored?

What would you do if your prodigal brother returned?
Would you gnash your teeth and grumble?
Would you begrudge the loss of what you thought you’d earned?
Or would you be glad and remain humble?

Man can observe your actions and think you righteous,
But God sees the heart of every man.
It does you no good to only act pious,
if your actions are only part of a selfish plan. 

Deeds can seem wonderful to a merely human eye,
but those deeds are fear less important than the reason why.

 

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Understanding

Thunder booms inside my mind.
The core of my spirit quakes.
In You is the only peace I’ll find,
For I lack the strength it takes.

My heart breaks with sadness.
My souls cries for relief.
My eyes seek and only find darkness.
This confusion vexes me beyond belief.

You understand that which is beyond my understanding.
Your comfort can soothe any pain.
Your love is far beyond human comprehending.
I cry out to you and pray in Your holy name.

Grant me wisdom and compassion to help my fellow man.
Work through me to comfort them even when I don’t understand.

 

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You’re Going To Suffer Anyway

Pain comes to the wicked and the redeemed.
Misfortune falls on the generous and the selfish.
Trials come to the reviled and esteemed.
Death comes to those you hate as well as those you cherish.

Curious are those who turn from God because pain exists,
for their stiff necks don’t lead to lives without pain.
Curious are those who blaspheme God, shaking their fists,
for what does their fury ever obtain?

They make the same argument; pain comes to everyone,
but they only think in earthly ways.
However, what those who’ve turn to God have won,
is glory immeasurable in future days.

What is the reward of those who suffer without belief?
Those who have it can at least take comfort even when they feel grief.

Sonnets For My Savior 35

The Beauty of a Christly Family

Why do we hide our pain?

Did Job suffer silently?

Could it be we think our suffering means our faith is in vain?

Could we think that crying out means we don’t believe fervently?

Perhaps others suffer more greatly,

but that doesn’t make our pain any less.

If we bear our pain in a manner more stately,

does it honestly reduce our distress?

Even Christ asked his disciples to watch with Him when His betrayal drew near.

So why do resist sharing our fears with our brothers?

Could it be that what holds us back is fear,

fear that might lessen our perception from others?

Believers, suffering doesn’t have to be yours alone to bear.

The beauty of a Christly family, is that, even in suffering, we can share.

 

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Suffering Doesn’t Mean Forsaken

We may suffer, but we are not forgotten.

Indeed, we were promised suffering would come.

Even if we lose all we’ve gotten,

It does not mean God’s heart has grown numb.

This doesn’t mean pain isn’t real.

It doesn’t mean we won’t wonder why.

Every living loved one will feel,

agony when the ones they love die.

It’s okay to pray for wisdom.

It’s okay to pray for pain to end.

It’s okay to seek freedom.

It’s okay to share your pain with a friend.

It’s not a sin to pray to God when you suffer;

It’s a sign that you trust Him more than any other.

 

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He Is With You

Fear not, for He is with you.

He is greater than the one who is in the world.

No matter what man may do,

God’s Son has overcome the world.

He delivered the Israelites from the Egyptians.

He delivered David from the hands of Saul.

When one man sought to persecute Christians,

God changed that man’s heart, and thus was born the Apostle Paul.

What man does for evil; He does for good.

No suffering compares with the glory in the life to come.

Trust in His will, and do as you should,

for by this, God’s will is done.

Take heart; fear not; He is with you.

Find comfort in His grace, for there is nothing He can’t do.

 

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Father

Grant me wisdom, LORD, help me start my children off the way they should go.

Keep them on the path, even when they’re old.

I yearn to see them learn and grow.

Their learning is such a blessing to behold.   

You are my fortress;

grant my sons shelter.

Don’t let me lead them to distress,

lest they turn from you in anger.

Change me, and make me an example,

one they can follow that pleases you.

Let my patience and love be ample,

so my teaching and instruction are true.

My son’s are a blessing I cherish;

let me lead them to You until the day I perish.

 

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Selfish

I’m a fool.

I count the minutes of the day and think them mine.

I know the world is yours to rule,

but my hardened heart covets time.

Change me.

I serve, but my desire to do what I wish steals my true happiness.

Set me free.

I’m chained by my own selfishness.

Make me yours.

Grant me a heart that savors the tasks you give me.

I praise your name, and my heart soars,

but I’m not as willing to serve as I ought to be.

My heart is wrong, and only you can change it;

Help me grow, lest my desire to please you become forfeit.

 

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Wise Provider

Our Lord never fails to provide.

He always gives us what we need.

Our Lord is always on our side.

He always hears those who pray and plead.

Our Lord knows all our necessities better than we do.

He knows what we must have isn’t the same as what we desire.

Our Lord is always faithful and true.

Just because He denies us doesn’t make Him a liar.

Our Lord formed the earth and carefully placed every river and tree.

He formed our bodies into intricate machines.

So trust in God, who brought all to be,

for He alone truly understands your means.

Do not feel abandoned if God denies your request.

Instead trust in Him because in Him, you are blessed.

 

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Though I Am Unfaithful

I sin, oh LORD, when I forget You.

I abandon You and let You slip from my mind.

I cry out to You, knowing You are always true,

but I forget my promises to You time after time.

I have sinned against my God, who is faithful!

My heart is grieved that I could forget You so.

Have mercy, LORD, and do not be wrathful.

In Your mercy help me to change and grow.

My heart trembles to think I have wronged You,

so I call upon your grace and forgiveness.

You are a loving God, and I see that in all You do.

You hold me and teach me even through my unfaithfulness.

Change me, Lord, so I might serve you more faithfully.

Change me, Lords, so I might serve you more cheerfully.

Sonnets For My Savior 31

A Worthy Friend

Let me encourage forgiveness, not vengeance.

Let me discourage lust rather than permit it.

Let me support endurance.

Let me advise friends with the Holy Spirit.

Let me be deaf to temptation.

Let me be blind to improper conduct.

Let my friends offer me loving correction.

Grant me the wisdom to listen as they instruct.

Help them to provide me good advice,

rather than permit my misdeeds.

Some make seek friends thought to be nice,

but grant me a friend who leads.

Rather than run with me into the fire,

grant me friends who will guide me to do as you desire.

 

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Precious Blood

Precious Blood spilled for me.

Gracious gift no one deserved.

My debts are paid, and now I’m free.

My guilt wash cleaned, my soul preserved.

Perfect Lamb raised up on high

A wretched sinner’s heart washed clean.

A man without sin chose to die.

A greater act of love has never been seen.

The price was paid.

Our souls were won.

The sins of man,

laid on the Son.

Precious was the blood that was spilled,

for from that price, our hope was filled.

 

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More Than We Can Handle

The Lord always provides a way.

Trust in his faithfulness.

He is with us come what may.

His light delivers all from darkness.

Temptation comes to all,

but we need not hear it.

Even though we may hear it’s call,

the Lord provides a way out through the Holy Spirit.

We’re never tempted beyond our ability.

Through Him we can endure.

Rather than focus on our own susceptibility,

have faith in the Lord who is pure.

Deliver us from evil, oh Lord above.

Let each time we resist temptation be a symbol of our love.

 

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Stones

They stood around her, ready to throw.

She was guilty, and they wanted to punish her.

Their piousness was just a show.

She was only as much a sinner as they were.

Faced with their own sin.

They went away.

They didn’t think to look within

and consider the price they’d have to pay.

Before you pick up stones of your own,

consider the sins you’ve committed.

It may cause you to drop your stone,

when you realize you can not be acquitted.

Rather than pronounce your condemnation,

seek to lead sinners to salvation

 

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More Like Him

He is our King, yet He served.

He was without sin.

Blessed is he who has observed

all the commands given by Him

His sacrifice was a demonstration of his love.

His bore our sins on the tree.

He humbled Himself, coming form above,

and gave all of Himself so we might be free.

He was truthful,

correcting His disciples when they spoke out of  turn.

He was mindful,

teaching even those who refused to learn.

Rather than make my own way and act on my own whim,

Lord grant me courage to be and act more like Him.

 

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Trust God, not money

The Lord provides and blesses those who are wise,

But borrowers are slaves to their lenders.

Blessed are those who trust God through all of their lives,

But why should he grant more to a foolish spender.

One cannot serve God and Money;

He will be a slave to one or the other.

The days of he who serves the Lord are sunny,

But he who receives one dollar can only hope for another.

He who trusts in his riches will fall,

But the righteous shall flourish as the green leaf.

Instead, listen and heed the Lord’s call,

and he will bless you beyond belief.

For the stingy, greed is all they foster,

But those who trust in the Lord will prosper.

 

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The Spirt

The helper whom God sent

manifests in us and teaches

Jesus told us before his accent

the Spirit would come to all He reaches.

It was the Spirit who came on the Judges of Israel.

It was the Spirit who placed Jesus in Mary’s womb.

Those who live by the Spirit are well,

but those who live by the flesh will only find death and a tomb.

The Spirit is the source of our gifts,

knowledge, wisdom, discernment, and healing.

Through the Spirit, our knowledge of the truth exists. 

The Spirit does wondrous works through the believing.

When we are weak, the Spirit helps us.

To aid our prayers, the Spirit intercedes for us.