A Sojourn in Captivity Update: How I Use Beta Reader Feedback

As always, all stock images are from Pixabay.

Last weekend I received the feedback from my wonderful beta readers.  Before I do anything else, I’d like to thank them.  My deepest gratitude goes to:

Elizabeth Drake, Jenn Moss, C.L. Schneider, (The rest I’ll use first names only as they’re private citizens.) Ashley,  and Alora. You all are amazing people and very busy, and it means so much to me that you took time out of your schedules and lives to provide this humble indie author some insight into the book.  I didn’t imagine we’d have room for any sort of “acknowledgements” page, but eventually, I’ll be giving shoutouts to you and the alphas and editors.  But today is for you wonderful betas because it gave me the idea for this blog.

The story writing and editing process is as unique as the author creating the story. I thought it’d be interesting for me to share with you what I look for from and in a beta reader.

What I ask of them:
I’ll do another post at some point on what I look for in an alpha reader, but the short version is I’m more demanding of them because I need my alphas to make sure I don’t look like a moron. My betas are there for me to be test readers. So what I did is send them my character analysis sheets and ask a few questions.

The character analysis sheet is just a term I made up to sound smart.  All I do is ask the readers to rank the character, description, dialogue, world building, and exposition for me on a scale of 1 to then.  I expand the “character” sliders to include sympathy, proactivity, competence, and power. This is how I review books; this is how I evaluate books, so this is how I like to receive feedback.

Then I ask what I feel the most important questions any author can ask the reader:
What do you think of the story as a whole?
What do you think about the main character (in this case Elele) at the beginning of the story?
What do you think of the main character at the end?
Would you want to read another story in which this character (and others) appear?

Then I invite the reader to add any thoughts they find relevant.

One of these days I’m going to have a more accurate rendering of Elele, but until then, you’ll keep seeing this very rough concept sketch. 

So I sent the book out to betas and gave them a few weeks (I try to let them have two days to read a single chapter or segment) to read the story. When I got the feedback, the first thing I did was thank them for their time.  This is critical authors. These folks are reading your work, the least you can do is let them know what it means to have them offer their time.

Then I opened up a document and typed whatever comments they gave me. For those who quite frankly went the extra mile and sent back the document with notes in the copy, I saved those files to a folder.

I’d be very interested to see what others do via the comments below, but here’s what I do:

Respect everything they say. You’re going to hear feedback. You won’t like all of it. Heck, you might not like any of it. I turn my ego in before I open a document.

While everything each beta says is valuable, what I look for is overlap.  What do they all love? What do they all hate? What do they all think? What trends do I see.  This is why I tend to want between 10 and 20 betas. The bigger the sample size, the more likely you’ll have enough opinions to really help you sort things out.

I’ll peel back the onion a bit here. The number one bit of feedback I got from every single beta is, “The story starts too slowly. There’s too much information to swallow.” Or something to that effect.  Here’s how feedback works in the photojournalism field. One person’s opinion is just one persons opinion, but if everybody who says anything says the same thing, that’s truth.  They all wanted to start closer to the action. (And when I review Conflict and Suspense, I’ll talk about that a lot more).

So when the majority of the betas say the same thing, I trust that majority. But what do you do when there isn’t one?

Well, I sort of take the liberty to trust my own feelings. If it’s a mixed bag, I understand that people are going to like some things and hate others.

I put the bigger weight on the betas who fall within my target audience. They’re the ones who I care most about because they’re the ones I want to buy this story. Some of the beta readers I have here provided critical information, but they’re more secondary alphas than actual betas. I trust their options more in matters of style and craft.

So an example might be if one of my style and craft beta readers thinks the dialogue isn’t working, I trust that, because they’re experts. I do this even if my “main audience” betas gave my dialogue 10s. This works because if I improve the writing of the dialogue, the “main audience” betas are only going to like it more.  I give those main audience more weight in terms of how they feel about the character and the plot.

An example might be YA themes. I’m not actually a fan of teen or YA books.  I can appreciate them and respect them, but I don’t like some of the storytelling elements in those genres. So if one of my friends asks me to read a YA book, I read it, but I’m not going to tell them I don’t like this character of that character if I can tell it’s a genre bias. But if I sent a YA book to a 19-year-old, and she hates the character, then I’m real scared.

So that’s it.  I look for overlap (what are they all saying or agreeing on). Then I give tie breakers depending on why I asked that person to beta read.

Armed with my feedback, I create a “revision plan” document in which I plan on going over each segment several times (one time per issue I annotate in my plan). Then I go over it again (another several times) for each document the betas sent me via the actual copy of the story.

Once I finish this draft, it’s off to my editor for a copy-edit, and then I send it out.  How do you use beta feedback?

I want to say one more time how grateful I am to those beta readers who helped me out. I may not apply all of your changes, but everything you said was heard and noted. You’ve made me a better writer, and I can’t thank you enough for that.

Thank you for reading,

Matt

I Received the Blogger Recognition Award!

I was looking at comments on the WordPress universe and was thrilled to learn I’d won the Blogger Recognition Award!

The classiest of classy gents, J.J. Azar was kind enough to award me this distinguished honor. It’s honestly one of the most flattering things in the world to have someone form your community feel you’re deserving of something even resembling recognition. As you’ll see below, he could have named any one of the blogs he’s following, and he felt I was one of those deserving.  Thank you, Sir.

To accept the award, I must:

Thank the blogger who nominated me and provide a link to his blog (CHECK)

Write a post to show my award (check)

Give a brief story as to how my blog got started (see below)

Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers (see below)

Select 15 other bloggers for this award (Just 15? Um…ok)

Comment on each blog to let them know I nominated them and link them to this post (pending)

 

How’d my blog get started? Well it was non-existant until Quintessential Editor sat me down and showed me how it was done.

 

I wanted a central location for all things Weech. I like to do reviews, character studies, and, oh yeah! I also wrote these books I’d like to sell. I had a lot of great ideas and things I wanted to talk about in addition to the shameless self promotion, and blogging seemed like the way to go.

As for my advice:

1. What do you do that others don’t? For a while, I think my Character Studies was something I did. There are a LOT of great blogs out there, but I really enjoy looking at characters and analyzing how and why they are effective. That was something I liked to do that I didn’t se others doing.  Then I had another idea. I’m an instructor at the Defense Information School, and I’m constantly reviewing work. I judge award contests, grade students and provide feedback. I’m also a fan of randomly staring at covers. That gave me the idea of the Book Cover of the Month. Every month, I post a bracket in which people can vote for their favorite covers. I’m still growing this, but it’s already been a ton of fun and hugely viewed. There’s a lot of wonderful people out there doing a lot of great things, but you have find the parts of yourself that make you unique and expose (the right word I promise) those vulnerabilities, those parts of yourself that make you special, to the world. If you’re only saying what other say, why should people come to your blog?
2. Consistency is everything.  Now, it’s okay to have some elements of randomness. My BCOTM posts happen each time a new round comes up. But those who follow my blog know that they’ll see a post of some kind every Wednesday (usually a review) and every Saturday (Usually a character study). When I see someone’s reviewed my book, I post that. If there’s some news relevant to my projects, I post that as well. But I never post more than once a day, and people always know when they’re guaranteed to see something new. Also, viewers know the BCOTM posts start on the first of every month, so even that has elements of consistency.

Now, to nominate those I can. There are a lot of blogs I follow, but those below are the ones I make it a point to visit whenever I’m doing what I call, The WordPress Tour. I don’t get to do it as often as I want, but I ALWAYS try to check these guys out.

Quintessential Editor

Red String Papercuts (Steve is my Social Media and Marketing Mentor and Jessie’s poems are lovely.)

J.R. Handley blog (Great interviews and military-based posts)

The Idiot in Tin Foil (Fantastic short works)

Rough and Ready Fiction (Wonderful Web Serials.)

Sinisterdarksoul (Absolutely HAUNTING prose. Content warning.)

Elizabeth Rose’s Site (Just a great site to visit. Lot’s of good info.)

Kristen Twardowski: A Writer’s Workshop (Simple, honest musings with author related info.)

The Excited Writer (Another solid site that, like Corey, talks about balancing writing and family.)

There are more, honestly, but these are the one’s I’m pretty driven to check up on when time allows.  They’re all wonderful blogs that I think you’d either enjoy reading or learn a lot from (usually both).

I’m honestly flattered J.J. nominated me. It’s nice to feel like I’m providing value to someone.  Thank you all as always.

Thanks for reading

Matt.

Sojourn in Captivity Update!

I can not stress to you how different Elele looks from this rough concept art. But here’s where it started.

I just wanted to announce the happy news! The second draft of Sojourn in Captivity (previously Sojourn in Despair) is finished and on its way to my (hopefully merciful) editor.

This project wouldn’t have moved forward the way it did without the help of my Alpha Readers.

The are:

Quintessential Editor and Jenn Moss. (My brother in law, Ben, also took his cut, but he gets first look at EVERYTHING).

Their feedback was honest, sometimes painful, and always helpful. Good Alphas do that for you.

I’m a huge fan of this project for a lot of reasons, and I honestly feel like this project has put me on another level.

So, what’s next? Well, while I wait for my developmental edit, I get back to redesigning The Journals of Bob Drifter.  I’m also starting the development of my next writing project, tentatively called The Truth of Emotion. ToE is a short story told from Kaitlyn’s point of view. Kaitlyn is one of the main characters from Caught. ToE is meant to bridge readers from the end of Caught to just a bit before Caught’s sequel (which had a title until I realized I need a new one, so give me a minute on that).  The JoBD re-design will take the bulk of my attention, but I should make a bit of progress on those other things as well.

I’m glad to be moving forward on this. Progress always makes me happy.

Thanks for reading,

V/R
Matt

Sojourn in Despair: The 1st Draft is Done!

An incredibly rough and unfinished sketch of Elele. This image is property of M.L.S. Weech.

I’ve been talking about my progress on this project since my first blog post. I was lucky enough to be invited to participate with some amazing authors in an anthology. I finished the discovery draft of Sojourn in Despair over the holidays, and I just wrapped up what I call the first draft.

What this means is it’s finished, and it’s in English.  I feel very good about it, and I think the story itself is fantastic!

What’s next though is something big. I always try something different every time I write a project. I’ve always had AN alpha reader. Ben is my best friend and brother in law. He reads EVERYTHING I write (poor guy).  But I expanded my alpha reader pool to a few others.

Alpha Readers to me have always been people I can go to with questions about concepts or ideas. I don’t know the first thing about a lot of things, so I find alpha readers who are knowledgable in some way about some aspect of my story.  This story’s topics are: The Jewish religion, mathematics, and evolutionary theory.

That said, if there’s someone out there with a PHD in either math or evolutionary theory, I’d appreciate an email in that regard. I’d be overjoyed if someone with expertise in those areas could give this a glance and make sure I don’t look foolish on a scientific level. I have one alpha who’s looking at it for math, but no one to look at the science of this planet or its species.

As of now, I have five alpha readers. Each bring something unique and specific to the table.  They’re all offering invaluable feedback that I’ll put to use in my second draft (the draft before it goes to the editor for developmental review).  Two of those alphas are our very own Jenn Moss and Quintessential Editor. So if you’d head over to their sites, give them some likes, shares, and follows, I’d appreciate it as they’re REALLY helping me out.

I just wanted to share my joy at this most recently finished project before I start my next one (because that’s sort of what I do).  What’s that you ask? The layout and design of The Journals of Bob Drifter so I can re-release that book at a lower price with another edit done.  I’ll keep you all posted.

Thanks for checking in and all the support you’ve shown me. I hope you’ll all preorder Caught or snag a copy of it Jan. 28!

In any case, thanks for reading.

Matt

 

200 followers!

As I type this, I currently have 211 followers on WordPress, and that’s just amazing to me. I’ve been on this journey for a little less than two years, and the only way success is possible is with readers who are interested in the content I produce. I’ve made friends, and I’ve become a fan of some of those I follow as well.  So with that in mind, I’d like to pass along that success by talking about a few bloggers I’ve become  a fan of.

Sinister Dark Soul: He has this haunting prose that has the ability to stretch you. Content warning. He goes to places you might not be ready for. The trick is how he eases you into those places. His “Clocktower” series is definitely worth a read.  His prose style makes his posts quick to read.

J.R. Handley: It’s cool to see people I know become successful. His books The Legion Awakes and Fortress Beta City are doing very well. It’s all the sweeter because my good friend Quintessential Editor edited those books. J.R.’s blog is evolving, and I like where it’s going. It has interviews, world building tips and some marketing advice.

J.J. Azar: J.J. has been one of my biggest supporters of late. His blog has a charm and class that just jumps off the page. He posts update on his projects and even did a Q & A that was fun to watch.

Red String Papercuts: Steve over at that blog has become such a valued mentor to me. His posts on marketing are invaluable. I can’t tell you how helpful they are. Factor in Jessie’s prose and poetry and you have a dynamic site worth visiting.

Rough and Ready Fiction: Jenn Moss is a wonderful person. I read and reviewed her book “The Horned Gate.” Her web serials are fun to read. She also does tarot card posts that are fascinating.

I really could go on all day. I try to visit at least three of these (or a few others) each day, rotating to try and stay up to date (Got to give a shout out to Idiot in Tin Foil). They’re just fantastic and incredibly supportive. I’m grateful to all of you followers. I hope to continue to provide you with posts that motivate, inform, and educate you.

With that said, I’d like to ask your thoughts.  What do you look for most from my posts? What do you want to see more of?

Thanks for reading,

Matt

 

The Line in the Sand: Discussing the “traditional” hero in comparison to the “flawed” hero

If Quintessential Editor could use a few of those greens he consumes so readily to help apply better terms, that would be amazing, but when discussing the contrast between the traditional hero and the flawed hero, I felt inspired (thanks Rough and Ready Fiction!) to offer a few case studies and offer my thoughts and opinions.

There are a lot of sources that describe a lot of hero archetypes.  The reason I didn’t narrow down to one source is more because I don’t feel there’s a TON of consistency out there, so I’ll use the terms that make the most sense to me and you can decide on what terms you like best.  I’m more interested in discussing my thoughts than I am determining the best terms in this regard.

The Traditional Hero:  He’s the nice guy’s nice guy.  He’s the white knight.  The man of principle.  He’s the example to follow.  If you had a daughter, he’s the man you’d want to date her.

Case Study:  Odd Thomas.  I won’t lie.  Odd Thomas was a very influential part of my writing The Journals of Bob Drifter.  He’s such a great character.  He’s honest, doesn’t cuss a lot. Heck, he even uses “sir” or “ma’am” when addressing people.  He’s forced to act by circumstances, and sometimes he must do things he doesn’t want to do, but he’s a good guy, and no one can deny that.  Bob is a traditional hero.  He’s honest.  He’s soft spoken.  He’s even a little shy around women.

I’m more drawn to these heroes because a part of me honestly believes that fiction should strive to show humanity what it CAN be.  This doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate flawed heroes, enjoy books about flawed heroes, or write stories about them.  When stretching to find new levels of skill, one must try new things, but my favorite books all have more traditional heroes.

The Flawed Hero:  He’s the rebel.  He’s the hero who’s a drunkard or killer.  He’s the man who’s seen stuff in life and is just trying to get by.  He’s the man you’d shoot if he showed up to ask your daughter out.

Cover for Perfect Shadow used for review and educational purposes under Fair Use doctrine.

Case Study:  Durzo Blint from The Night Angel Trilogy.  I love him.  He’s a great character, but he’s a jerk.  He’s a whore-mongering, drinking killer.   His motives are selfish, and his moral code is just about as messed up as it can be.

These characters (to a degree) feel more real to readers.  They’re more relatable.  So I don’t know how often I’ll try to psychoanalyze humanity as a whole, but I’m going to step out on that limb in this case.  Most people, myself included, feel flawed.  Everyone has “hot buttons” because those issues spark in people that which they most dislike in themselves.  Where a traditional hero provides an example to follow, flawed heroes show readers it’s okay to not be “perfect” because you can still, and always, do something worthy of the term hero.

Let’s look at this in practice (an point out my hypocrisy at the same time):  Superman vs Wolverine.

Yep…I’m going the comic book route.  Superman fights for truth, justice, and the American way.  Wolverine is a killer.  Now, based on my above comments, you’d think I like Superman, right?  Wrong.  I hate Superman.  But in this we find the complexity of art.  I don’t hate superman because he helps old ladies cross the street or reminds people that “flying is still statistically the safest way to travel.”  I hate Superman because he’s TOO perfect.  He’s (arguably) the most powerful character in comics.  I don’t mind a person who has all these morals.   What I mind about Superman is the fact that I just don’t ever feel he’s in danger.  He’s not one for whom I worry because I don’t think he’ll ever be taken down.  I don’t read the comics too much, but I hear he’s been “flawed” in some regard.  I like Wolverine because (immortal thought he may be), I’ve seen him lose fights.  I’ve seen him fail.  And failure is a key part of gaining sympathy.

It’s the setbacks characters face that create the tension readers feel when they try anything.  These setbacks don’t have to mean failure, but they are important.

So my problem with what I feel is the overabundance of flawed heroes isn’t people genuinely have flaws.  It’s that some readers argue there aren’t nice guys out there.  I served for 10 years in the Navy.  Some of the kindest, most “Superman” type people I’ve ever met (Quintessential Editor among them) are Sailors.  Corey will give you the shirt off his back while asking if you need a pair of pants.  He’ll give everything he can for people in general.  He’s capable of right and wrong like any human, but if I have a son one day, I’d be pretty proud if he grows up to be like Corey.

I have other friends.  I have friends that my other friends ask why they’re still my friends.  I obviously won’t name one.  But if I were to judge people and withhold my friendship because they’ve done things I don’t like, I’d be pretty short on friends.

So what’s my point?

The most times I hear arguments regarding these two types of heroes, they’re arguing principles when what I think they’re really discussing is the unreal reaction to events.  This was a major point of discussion with my editor about Sal in Caught.  He goes through some seriously bad stuff, and just keeps plugging along heroically.  At least, he did in the last draft of the book.  In this draft, the issues he faces causes him to doubt himself.

I don’t actually care what type of hero anyone writes, but MOST readers want realism.  They want character who reacts to situations.  Let’s do another case study.

(SPOILER ALERT FOR DOCTOR WHO..YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)

Doctor Who:  In the episode entitled “The Doctor’s Daughter,” the doctor meets, grows to care for and loses a genetic clone of himself that seems like a “daughter.”  The fanboy in me chuckles a bit because I actually remember the doctor’s initial reaction to Jenny (I believe the word “abomination” was used, but I could be wrong).  Tennant is (from my informal, passive observation) commonly regarded as the “best” modern doctor.   He still does the “good guy” thing in the end.  He shows mercy.   He’s still the better man, but the viewers see his temptation.  They see his desire to do wrong, and he chooses to do right.  THIS is what makes characters compelling.  It’s seeing characters tested that make them sympathetic.  But test a character too much, and the reader will become annoyed.   The writers’ skill in having the doctor do “good” and “bad” is what makes him feel real in a lot of cases.  Tennant’s doctor is the greatest example of this.  He’ll be the better man when Jenny dies, but then kill a bunch of people if they don’t heed his warning.

(SPOILER OVER)

I shifted Sal’s timeline not because he was “too good” a guy, but because he receives a lot of negative stimulation without any of those events affecting his personality.  I still feel strongly it’s okay to have characters who “don’t break.”  Those characters who never shift their morals because those morals define them are important.  Ultimately, Sal’s the same “person” he was in every draft of Caught.  But his responses to what he goes through shifted to account for those events.

I think some people like “flawed” heroes because it’s easier to believe a flawed man can do right on occasion than it is to believe a man can swear never to kill, no matter how many sidekicks, women, friends and associates die because you refuse to kill a man.  (I’m looking at YOU Batman!)

So let’s talk about the caped crusader while we’re at it.  Am I mad at Batman for never killing Joker (at least he didn’t when I last glanced at the DC universe. Again, I’m not a fan of that industry)?  If you want REALISM, how does a mass murderer commit any crime and not inevitably be put to death by the legal system?

(NOTE)  Look, I’m not here to start political debates.  I won’t share my opinion on the death penalty any more than I’ll approve comments which do the same.  This is a writing blog.  The above comment was made because the death penalty exists regardless of the existence or absence of my approval.

What we should strive for as authors are AUTHENTIC characters.  If you want a white hat, help old ladies cross the road, shining smile, never lies character, go for it.  If you want a drinking, abusive, thieving character, go for it!  But when SOMETHING happens to SOMEONE, that person reacts.  I think readers have more problems with authenticity than moral values of characters.

What do you all think?  Which do you all prefer?  Feel free to throw your comments below.  (For the record, Doctor Who is a FLAWED character.  Come on people, even if you know the events of “The Day of the Doctor” he still knowingly killed an entire species.)

Thanks for reading,

Matt

 

Book Review: The Horned Gate by Jenn Moss

Images of Jenn Moss and her book are used solely for review purposes under Fair Use Doctrine

I’ve been following Jenn’s Blog for about as long as I’ve had a blog myself. So once I had some room on my TBR, I decided to give her work a read.

Spolier Free Summary: The Horned Gate is about a man named Jake who must use his ability to walk through dreams to help a friend trapped in a nightmare. That seems like a very short summary, but the plot is fairly interconnected, and any other information may spoil something for the reader.

Character:  Jake is the main character. The other characters we see plenty of are Conner, Lev, Gus, Tara, and Shay. The book is in first-person narrative though, so we really only see Jake’s point of view. Jake is strong enough to hold up that sort of narrative. He’s proactive and sympathetic.  The strength in this book is that Jake is a father trying to prove he’s a good father. I’ll be honest here and tell you that holds a lot of resonance with me. One reason why I connect so well to Jake is I have my own sorted history with my biological father, and this book struck that chord. I think my biggest issue with this book is that the relationship Jake has with another character relies on “off camera” information. It’s hard to buy into the relationship (especially the strength of that connection) because the reader never saw it develop. It’s something I noticed, and it’s honestly something that bothered me. However, it didn’t detract from Jake’s compelling character and the conflicts he faces. Also, some of the characters are very accepting of circumstances without much conflict or debate. This might be a problem for some to suspend disbelief. It wasn’t enough to turn me away from the book though.

Speaking of first-person. There’s a lot of inner monologue and questioning that I’m not familiar with. I noticed it, and I don’t know that it was completely necessary. The inner monologue isn’t internal dialogue, but rather the thought process of the character. I didn’t mind, as I feel it was done to make the reader feel they were in Jake’s head even as he experienced the moments in the book, but I’m not sure I’ve seen the technique a lot. DISCLAIMER: I don’t read a ton of first person. This might be something everyone does, and I’m just so unfamiliar with that type of narrative I don’t know.

Exposition: I usually say any time I can’t remember exposition is good balance. I remember a few moments of backstory tucked where they were at least logical, but there weren’t that many, and, again, they were at least logically placed.

Worldbuilding:  This is the strongest area. The magic system isn’t overly complex, but it is well thought out. The world and magic interact together in a way that’s believable. Moss uses a mentor archetype to teach the magic system to the reader. It’s a common tool, as I’ve mentioned, but it’s done well and there’s a few new angles Moss takes to give it a bit of a fresher look.

Dialogue:  This is, in my opinion, the weakest area of the book. That’s a good thing considering the quality of the story. The reason it’s a weak area for the book is it’s inconsistent.  There are areas I feel are forced, this is usually in regard to the relationship I mentioned above, but the conversation between Jake and Tara at the end is powerful. Dialogue is tricky. I think it’s an area I could improve in to some degree (I think I overuse the “wit” now and then).  I wouldn’t go so far as to say there are “bad” segments, just some that are so much stronger than others.

Description: One thing I noticed in this book is something actor Anthony Stewart Head talked about once while working on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He said something to the effect that no one just stands and talks. He got around this by routinely cleaning his glasses on camera, just to give himself something to do while speaking. Moss does this. I didn’t go back and log every conversation, but she did a nice job of avoiding talking heads. Her settings are more visual than anything else. The other senses aren’t activated a ton, but it’s more than enough for me. Again, I’ll freely confess this isn’t an area I care about at all as a reader.

Overall: This book is powerful because of it’s character and the conflicts he faces. A man has to do right by his family and an old friend who’s misguided (he said nimbly avoiding a spoiler). That sort of story alone is worth a read. It has a fast pace with a magic system that is easy to understand without being too simple. I won’t say it’s as good as, but this book reminded me of early Dresden. The tone, and development are the areas I think are most comparable. I don’t know that readers of Dresden will like this book (Dresden, especially early Dresden, is more mystery than thriller).  But if you’re like me, and you read to learn about the craft of writing, there is some similarity in style. This sort of book would be great for one of those flights home for Christmas. It’s a quick, pleasant read with charming characters.

Thanks for reading

Matt